10 Warning Signs of Emotionally Abusive Relationships

By Afifa Rehman 

When it comes to domestic violence (DV), abuse can occur on a number of different fronts. Although many people associate DV with physical abuse, emotional abuse can sometimes be even more dangerous because people don't always recognize it as abuse or talk about it. Oftentimes, people don't reach out for help because they don't actually realize what is happening. In order to identify emotional abuse, be on the lookout for the following 10 warning signs. 

1: Constantly blaming

If your partner blames you for the things they've done, it may be a sign of emotional abuse. Common tactics include avoiding responsibility and saying things like, "You made me do it" or "It's your fault this happened." Over time, this can affect your self-confidence and how you feel about yourself. 

2: Gaslighting

If your partner manipulates you into making you question your own reality, that’s a serious warning sign. You may start doubting your own memories, your own thoughts, and what you think actually happened. They may deny things that they have said or done, and you question it so much that you actually think you're wrong and that maybe that didn't happen. Over time, you may have self-doubt, confusion, and uncertainty about yourself.

3: Isolation

Oftentimes, emotionally abusive partners will try to isolate you from friends, family, and anyone that they think could possibly be supportive of you. They may not want you to be around anyone who could make you feel good. Instead, they want you to feel like the only person you can rely on is them. 

 

4: Controlling

An emotionally abusive partner may need to know where you are at all times. If they constantly ask you where you are and who you're with, that’s a red flag. Constantly checking up on you is a form of control since they want to know all of your movements all the time. It also shows that they don't trust you or your judgment. 

5: Mood Swings

Is your partner emotionally available one moment and distant the next? Is it hard to talk to them because they keep shifting from being emotionally available to unavailable? Abusive partners generally don't offer any explanation, or they deny their behavior. It keeps you guessing and in fear of them. 

6: Verbal Abuse

Emotionally abusive partners may make mean-spirited comments about your appearance, intelligence, and body, sometimes even in front of others. They often put you down and criticize, and it seems like they know exactly what to say to make you feel bad about yourself. They can even make you feel dumb, worthless, and incapable. 

 

7: Physical Violence

If the abuser can't get their way with words, they may resort to violence. This can start off as small things, like holding their victim's arms during an argument, and escalate to beating their victim. Hitting, choking, tripping, pushing, or throwing things are all forms of physical violence in a relationship. 

8:  Jealousy

If your partner becomes intensely jealous, even mundane encounters will be viewed as a threat to your relationship. Your partner may accuse you of cheating, question your intentions, or be offended if you talk to other people. With time, their jealous feelings can become controlling, as you may find yourself forced to avoid certain friends, change plans, and reduce socializing in order to avoid arguments. The jealousy that was there at the beginning can begin controlling your life and make you more restricted and isolated.

9: Intimidation

An abuser may try to intimidate you when they are angry. They might slam their fists down. They could hover over or corner you. They might break things and lash out. The bottom line is that abusers often use fear and threats to control you.

10. Lack of Respect for Your Boundaries

If your partner constantly disregards the boundaries that you have established for them, there’s something wrong. It also indicates that they do not take your well-being into consideration. Disrespecting your partner’s boundaries is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Conclusion

Emotionally abusive relationships involve controlling, manipulative, intimidating, and disrespectful behaviors. Although some early signs of abuse appear trivial, they can quickly escalate to pose harm to one’s mental and physical health. Being aware of such signs is a key element in determining whether a relationship is healthy and secure.